Posts tagged ‘relationships’

29 – Relationships

Oh, I still have a lot to do in this arena…

My Son:  We’re good.  We had a bit of a row last night, but that was mostly me reaching the end of my rope and trying to hang someone with it.  Gotta stop flippin out on him at bed time.  It puts both of us in shitty moods and makes it next to impossible for me to sleep afterward.  And being in a shitty mood at 1130 when you have to get up at 5 is a recipe for an even shittier mood…

We’re still working on our schedules.  Which is extremely sad, since they should have been set in stone ages ago.  But they’ll get there, nothing happens overnight and neither will this.

My Man:  Still status quo, but we’re still enjoying each other, so it can’t be all bad.

My Aunt:  Well, I gave her a hug and a kiss on New Year’s Eve (after the ball dropped), that counts as progress, right?


There are other relationships that need attention.  Friendships, family members, pets…hell, even my relationship with ME.  Some family relationships will be harder to work on than others.  I’m pretty well fed up with certain members, but I can’t completely cut them out of my life…it’s not fair to a few people if I do.  I’m trying to cultivate my friendships.  I’ve invited friends over in the past, but I need to do more of it.  I miss my friends.  As for the pets, I just have to get better at petting them regularly.  It’s not that I’m a meanie, it’s more that I’m not the type of person to sit still for very long (unless I’m at work *sigh*), so I’m not STILL enough to pet them as often as they’d like.  I guess that leads to my relationship with ME.  I need to be nicer to me and let myself have more down time.  I *have* spent too much time on the computer, but not all of it is goofing off.  I use it to make lists, wrangle finances and keep organized (which doesn’t seem to be working…time to fix what’s broken).

Oh well, here’s to progress!  May there actually be some…

“Penis Teflon” (c)*

Like “Portia” I think I’m coated in it. However, I think I may have poured it over my own head.

As Portia states, men just don’t “stick” to me. However, I’m not completely blameless in that arena. I go into every relationship (friendship or otherwise) assuming they won’t stay and pretty much sabotage it so it happens. Self-fufilling prophecy, I believe. However, I don’t realize I’m doing it at the time. The light doesn’t dawn until months, maybe even years, later.

There are very few men that aren’t victims of the whole “Penis Teflon”(c). Some of them are just plain bad seeds.

Not only am I coated in “Penis Teflon” (c), I’ve somehow had a “Jerk Magnet” installed. Makes for some interesting moments, lemme tell ya.

Anyway, I’m at a loss as to how to remove “Penis Teflon” (c) and don’t know of an accredited surgeon for “Jerk Magnet” removal. Guess it’s something I will have to self-operate on. Good thing I don’t get queasy over blood and gore. And as long as there’s no breaking of bones, I should be good.

If there’s “Penis Teflon” (c) is there “Vagina Vaseline” that coats some men?

I think it’s only fair…


* “Penis Teflon” (c) is a very REAL fictional substance coating the main character, Portia, in “Ex and the Single Girl” by Lani Diane Rich. Who just happens to be a friend (online) of mine for nearly 9 years. Highly recommend you read her. You will NOT be disappointed. Pinky promise.

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