Posts tagged ‘daddy issues’

Something to think about…

Jacob had an appointment with his talk doctor last night. Things went well, he was actually very excited about going (kinda strange, but ok). When it came time for me to talk to the doctor, she mentioned that she thinks he has ADHD.


Now, she had mentioned that she thought he was a bit hyper in previous appointments, but he did eventually settle, so she held off on actually saying he had it.

Well, last night, she had such qualms. Now, I have noticed that he’s rather hard to keep focused and still in the last few months (acutally, most of this school year), but I wouldn’t have thought he was as “bad” as my nephew or the two kids in the neighborhood.

The only “difference” I can think of between Jacob’s behavior from the last appointment to this appointment is Albuterol. Jacob’s asthma has been aggrevated this week and he’s in “Flare”. Which means he’s to take 2 puffs on his inhaler every 4 hours for a week. Albuterol has a stimulant in it and he has a tendency to go off the charts with his fidgeting while he’s on it.

However, as I said, I’ve noticed he’s had a focus problem most of the school year, so I am going to email his teacher and get her take on his behavior this year and then make an appointment with his pediatrician to discuss.

I do NOT want to put him on meds because you have to tweak, tweak, tweak to get the right dosage and I really don’t want my son to be a guinea pig. I have to do this with the Albuterol and I hate it. But I do it because it’s a matter of life and death. With the ADHD, it’s just a matter of sanity :-p

Another issue that was brought up was that I think Jacob has a different learning style than what is used for teaching in his school. Dr. M thinks he’s “extremely bright” but his school test scores don’t reflect as much (NOTE: ask for PSSA testing results). She had suggested I look into getting him into a Friends’ school or some sort of Montessouri school.

Now, ideally, that’s what I would LOVE to do. If I had unlimited funds, he’d have taken entrance tests for The Philadelphia School, but these special schools are tuition based and I’m NOT made of money, nor would the Toad choke up any money to contribute toward tuition. Granted, most of these schools have scholarship programs, but seriously, as an Engineer, what kind of financial aid could I get?

However, I said I would follow through and I will. I just have to do a bit of research first…

Fast Forward to bed time…

Jacob had a meltdown about me dying. Apparently he had a dream a few days ago that I “died and was gone forever”.

After talking to him (no, he doesn’t remember the dream anymore), I think it stems from teh fact that his dad is apparently getting married in a few weeks.

I think he’s afraid of losing his dad (to the marriage) and the fear is transferring to him losing me too…and to him, the only way he’d really lose me is to death.

How the hell do you assure someone that you’re not going to die?

I basically told him that I would always love him. Always Always Always. I also told him that I had no plans to go anywhere, that if I did, I would be with him EVERYWHERE (well, not in the bathroom…thankfully that made him giggle).

Jacob doesn’t have issues with daddy’s girlfriend, he has issues with the way daddy ignores Jacob when the girlfriend is around (or a thought) and he’s afraid he’s going to completely lose his dad once they get married (obviously, this isn’t what he SAID, but that’s the underlying fear).

I’ve never hated the Toad. Never. Hated what he’s done and his inability to grow up, but never hated HIM.

However, if he continues to disappoint his son and hurt him at every turn, I could hate him with no guilt what-so-ever.

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