***WARNING: This is a long, convoluted post, but there IS a point, so bear with me***
Jacob is a military junkie. Specifically, WWII. Seriously, one of the maybe 5 channels he watches on TV is the Military History Channel. Anything on WWII and the war in Iraq.
It’s a bit of an obsession.
For MONTHS he’s been begging me to let him see the move Flags of Our Fathers. I’m not adverse to it, per-se, but it IS emotional and gory, and well, it’s a war movie. BUT the kid has a zombie obsession at the moment too, and I don’t think there’s much more gory than a zombie munch-fest, so I’ve been telling him that we’ll watch the movie “next Mommy & Jacob Night”.
Well…we’ve had SEVERAL M&JNs and still haven’t watched the movie. We were actually going to watch it this past M&JN but it wasn’t on demand! How rude!
Coincidentally, this was the same night he had his emotional breakdown that sent us both into a mini tailspin.
Friday he went to school (because he needed to be surrounded by friends) and I went to work, because I’m a masochist and who doesn’t like being at work when their world’s falling apart?
Seriously, I went to get some work crap done, but to mainly use the telephone. I started early and I started with Jake’s school counselor and his pediatrician. I used the internet to do a therapy search, to have a list of therapists covered by my insurance. But what I really wanted was Jake’s counselor to call me back. To be honest, I wasn’t all that thrilled with her at the beginning of last year, but she really, really outdid herself with all of Jake’s post-surgical issues and his placements for this school year, so I *REALLY* wanted her help with Jake on this.
I basically stalked the poor woman. Called, emailed, called again, had people look for her.
We FINALLY connected and I was able to get an appointment that day. I flew out of the office (notifying my “chain of command” as to what was up, that I was leaving and kiss my ass…thankfully, I have a GREAT boss and he basically said to me “who gives a shit about your time, go make sure your son is ok.” I’ve never had more respect for the man. My old boss? Yeah, he can jump off the planet any time now…).
Anyway, I saw Mrs. L and we discussed the meltdown, the losses and the lingering feelings of abandonment from his surgeries. We then called Jacob down to her office and let him know what we had been discussing and what we would like to do, if he was willing. While not happy that I’d “called the school”, he DID want help and we mapped out a plan. We were both happy. I left with a lighter heart, my beautiful boy (because the soccer game had been canceled) and a list of potential places to help us.
Due to the canceled soccer game and early “dismissal”, we were able to arrange an earlier drop off time with his dad (his dad actually had the day off and was not only coming down to pick him up, he had planned to actually go to Jake’s soccer game – a HUGE first! Sadly, the game was canceled, but they were able to start a much-needed Daddy Weekend early).
We decided to meet at Barnes & Noble. It was still in the same area as our normal meeting place, but it offered me the opportunity to try to find some books on death, loss and grieving for Jake. He’s not much of a reader, but I figured the books would be good for BOTH of us to read, together.
So, there I am, on the floor in the teen section (remember my blown back?) gritting my teeth and digging through every. damn. book. on the last two shelves.
Chicken Soup for the Pre-Teen Soul, Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul, Chicken Soup for the Pre-Teen Soul III (what the hell happened to “II”??), Seven Habits for Highly Effective Teens…books on what’s going on with his body and yes, it’s normal. You get the idea.
I picked up the Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul, because the pre-teen one was just a tad too young for him and the teenage one had a specific section on death, loss and grief. I also picked up the Seven Habits book because, let’s face it, the kid needs help in that area too.
But all the while I’m searching this section, I’m touching EVERY book. I didn’t want to miss an opportunity to help him.
Would you believe, as I was touching and reading every title, I pulled out a small paperback. All by it’s lonesome. In between a book about a girl losing both her parents in an auto accident and a book about body changes.
Ok, Mom. I heard you.
I walked out of there with 4 books: Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul Teens Talk Tough Times, Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens, Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens Personal Workbook and Flags of Our Fathers.
Mar-Mar was there to guide me on Friday.
She may have died, but she’s so not gone.