24 – Me

Ugh, I always hate this topic when it comes around…

I’ve been working on ME tho.  Started a new exercise routine.  Not very rigorous, but I need to ESTABLISH the routine first, then I can tweak it.  I *really* miss Krav Maga.  *sniffle*  It was a great outlet for pent-up frustration, and honestly, I miss kicking the heavy bag’s ass.  I am a lazy ass, but I DO need a physical outlet for frustration, anger, etc..

Along those lines, I FEEL everything.  As a friend of mine once said, “I’m emotional.  Not fragile.”  When I’m happy, I laugh.  When I’m sad, I cry (and hate every freakin second of it, especially if I have an audience).  When I’m angry/pissed off…um, you may wanna run.  Therefore, I need outlets for these energies.

I’ve been very bad about giving myself an outlet.  Mostly for the pain and anger.  There’s no real fall-out for giving in to a bought of laughter, But cry or throw something (in anger) and people tend to judge you. 

For the most part, I don’t give a flying FIG what anyone thinks of me.  *I* know who I am and who’s opinions matter to me.  And those people aren’t going to judge me for one bad act or one slip of control.  They know who I am.  I have lots of aquaintences, but only a handful of REAL FRIENDS.  Those are the people who’s opinions matter to me.  They know who they are and they have ALL definitely seen me at both my best and my worst.  I’m not saying I’m proud of it.  I’m just lucky to have people see me be the worst I have been and still love me, cuz they know it’s not really “me”.

So, all THAT to say I need to get myself physically “fixed” so I can kick ass again.  🙂

[for those not in-the-know, I have a pinched nerve (C5/C6/C7) and need to build up the muscle around them before I can do anything uber physical, and Krav is definitely, uber physical.  Last time I took it, I lost 30 pounds in less than a month!  Of course, that could be from going “all out” when I started *grin*]


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