READ THE BIG PIECES

29 – Relationships

ALL KINDS of relationships to cover…

Let’s see, there’s my relationship with my son.  I’ve got the mom thing down cold.  But I do like to foster a fun and open relationship.  Open in the sense that he can come to me with anything.  I did not promise not to get mad, but I did promise to listen.  He’s always known that he can tell me the truth.  I may not like it, and he may not like the consequences of his actions, but truth will give him a lighter sentence LOL  we do have fun, I play video games (sometimes, cuz I totally SUCK); I play baseball and soccer; we see movies together; read books together.  I want him to respect me, but not be afraid of me.  That’s a hard one.  Cuz sometimes, man, whatever he’s done makes the mad mama bear come out.  I wanna both protect him and tear him limb from limb!

I have my relationship with my man.  It’s very laid back right now.  I’m SO not in the "let’s date and then get married" category.  And he’s so "I do NOT want to get married again" category, so it works LOL.  He’s older than me.  Significantly, but not "ew".  LOL  He has grown children…at least with the youngest two, I’m still old enough to be their mother, but the oldest would be pushing it LOL  I like his kids, I like him, and Jake likes him too, so it’s all good 🙂  I just want to cultivate that relationship, without scaring the piss out of both of us.  He’s gun-shy and I’m so passed gun-shy, there isn’t even a category for it!  So, I mean, status quo isn’t a bad thing, but I also bore easily, so we gotta do *something*, right?  And I don’t mean go out on dates, hang from the chandeliers or anything like that, I just mean, something to deepen the relationship.  It’s a sticky wicket cuz it’s so unconventional…this will be a hard one to work on *sigh* (*whine*)

I need to work on my relationship with my aunt.  She annoys the living shit out of me, but she’s family, a human being and deserving of basic human kindness (not to say that I’m an evil troll, but the thought has crossed my mind…a LOT).  I can’t even think of some common ground to approach from.  There are some physical limitations, so games, crafts, etc. are pretty much out of the question.  She’s got an inferiority complex (intellectually) that drives me nuts.  I can’t stroke someone’s ego to make them feel better.  I just can’t.  Especially not when it’s just pity party/attention mongering ploys.  CAN. NOT. DO. IT.  HELP!  I’ve just gotten so disgruntled/fed up with this woman, I’m not sure I can "forgive and forget".  I *know* I can’t forget.  Forgive?  Not even sure I could do that.  And it’s nothing that she did maliciously, but I can’t be expected to heal all the hurts done to her, nor can I be expected to be her emotional/physical/financial pack mule.  ARGH!  How do I get over this?  And don’ t say "you just do" because, if that worked, it would have happened by now.  I think the only way to mend this relationship is for her to leave and get her own place (or go into a home, which, seriously, she should), but I also know, I’m so apathetic at this point, she’d never get a visit.  And that’s not good either.  And guilt is not a good reason to keep her here either.  FUCK!  Let’s come back to this one another time

Ok, I really need to just stop here, because that small temper tantrum has left me in a crappy mood.  :-/

Damn

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