I’ve been having headaches (and fevers 99-102 degrees) EVERY FUCKING DAY for the past three weeks. Some to the point of being bed-ridden WITH medication. I hate taking meds, so I have to feel like crap to take them.

Being the alarmist I can sometimes be, I’m worried that something SERIOUS is wrong. However, the realist in me is positive it’s just stress (holiday, work, other), the stupid effin weather, hormones, my braces and my eyes. I KNOW my [bottom] teeth have been moving. They’ve been sore and I’ve discovered some spaces that weren’t there before. All my headaches start behind my left eye (typical migraine for me), but my neck and back of my head have been joining in the fun.

With all that’s happened over the last few weeks, I’m not surprised that my body’s going “woah bitch, fuckin take a break already!” I’m in bed (not sleeping) by about 6 every night. I watch a little TV, shower, get back in bed and watch more TV. I think I need to change that routine, because being supine for such long periods of time is NOT good on the muscles/joints/body.

I’m also recovering from a really nasty bought of depression. Haven’t had such a bad go of it in a LONG time. I wasn’t sure it was going to let up. I was seriously considering going to the doc to discuss meds/therapy. I probably still should, but I’m a lousy med taker and I’d rather “go natural”. Maybe getting my sorry ass outside for an hour or so a day will help. I’ve been bringing my sneakers to work every day, but have yet to actually go for a walk. I think I’ll start today and just go for a circuit or two around the building. I NEED to see the sun. There are NO windows near my cubicle and I rarely get up and walk around. Rather hide and hibernate. I know I need to stop that, but I LIKE not being social.

I also had a horrible cycle last month, so that could be related to the stress and headache inundation. I know my migraines follow my cycle (hormonally induced). I guess I just gotta get off my ass and get myself checked out. grrr…like I have time for this.

I’m in the home stretch with my braces and I have to say I am SO glad I’m near the end. As excited as I was to get them, I’m completely sick of them now. I want them off. I want to be able to close my mouth without having to blow out my cheeks so they don’t get pinched by the braces. I wanna run my tongue along my teeth and not feel wires, brackets and ties.

I’ve also decided that I’m going to get some information that I’ve been wanting for years now. I want to find out WHY my dad died. The only way to do that is to get a copy of the confession. Since it’s a matter of public record (as far as I know), I just have to get to the courthouse and request it. I’m nervous, but excited. I NEED to know because I NEED to let this go. And I can’t let it go until I know WHY. WHY do you take a father away from 4 young children? A great father (as told by everyone I’ve talked to. Great father. Lousy husband). I just don’t get it and I need to know. Just have to get over myself and make the inital call.

All this and I still have issues with Inny (she REALLY bugged me over the holidays) and my house. Lots to do, no help and no time. But, it’s a new year and that means I can start new. Just make a plan, don’t over do it, and stick to it.

Wish me luck.


Comments on: "Spewing" (2)

  1. Wishing you the best of luck always, homegirl.

  2. Thanks, babes! Much appreciated 🙂

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