READ THE BIG PIECES

The 2007 version of I WILL SURVIVE

SING IT GIRLS!!! (maybe in your head, if you are reading this at work!)
Ready… set… go…

At first I was afraid, I was petrified.
When you said you had 10 inches, Lord I almost died!
But I’d spent so many years just waiting for a man that long,
That I grew strong, And I knew that I could take you on…

But there you are, another lie,
I was ready for a Big Mac and you’ve brought me a French Fry!
I should have known that it was bullsh*t, just a sad pathetic dream,
Should have known there was no Anaconda lurking in those shabby jeans!

Go on now – go,
walk out the door,
Don’t you promise me 10 inches,
then turn up with only 4!

Weren’t you a brat to think that I wouldn’t find you out!?
Don’t you know we’re only joking when we say size doesn’t count??!!

[Chorus]

I will survive! I will survive!
Cuz as long as I have batteries, My s*x life’s gonna thrive!
I will always have good s*x, with a handful of latex!
I will survive! I will survive! ..Hey! Hey!

It took all my self control not to laugh out loud,
When I saw your little weiner standing tall and proud!
But to hell with your ego and to hell with all your needs,
Now I’m saving all my lovin’ for a cordless multispeed!

[Chorus]

I will survive! I will survive!
Cuz as long as I have batteries, My s*x life’s gonna thrive!
I will always have good s*x, With a handful of latex!
I will survive! I will survive! ..Hey! Hey!

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